Schedule for tomorrow, working in a coping plan

I read a bunch of articles about the wonders that scheduling your day do to anxiety today, I thought you know… I have nothing to lose let’s give it a try, so here I am trying to set all my activities in different hours, considering eating times and also, knowing it can take longer to achieve each activity than I think. I’m trying to add certain coping rituals through out the day so I can manage my anxiety, also I’m testing the results of each coping mechanism. For tomorrow I’m planning in doing meditation and working with music and smells. So there’s that. I’ll keep this blog update specially in this topic, so if you’re curious keep an eye on your news board.

I’m kind of worry with all the “rituals” thing, I know it’s just a word but yo… I’ve OCD and that’s a strong word for me, so I’ll try to yes, make a routine, but if I see I obsess over it or I get anxiety from not doing the thing I’ll probably stop. Let’s see what happens.

I’m gonna post my schedule for tomorrow in hopes I can success if I post it here. Enjoy seeing my activities. I’m staring with a few for now, maybe after tomorrow I’ll add more so I can get used to it slowly. 

8:00 a.m

WAKE UP TIME:

• To make sure I feel safe: 
• Some smell sticks
• Silent/Music
  • Make the bed

BREAKFAST: (take your meds along breakfast)

• Around 8:30 a.m, don’t feel pressure with the time. But try to eat early.

9:30/10:00 a.m 

10 MINUTES MEDITATION:

• Use the new meditation app or YT videos. 10 or 15 minutes will do.

SHOWER/GETTING READY:

• Prepare your clothes first, as always.
• Make sure the water is hot and you feel safe (check 8:00 a.m suggestions)
• —- from 2 to 3 hours —-

12:00/13:00 p.m

EATING (?):

• If you feel like it.

GERMAN:

• Place your stuff in the dinner table, pick the music you feel in the mood for. Try to: Study in 15 minutes sets and 5/8 minutes of breaks.

13:00/14:00 p.m

EAT IF YOU DIDN’T BEFORE/FREE TIME UNTIL 16:00 p.m

16:00 to 17:40:

GET READY FOR GOING TO THE MEDITATION PLACE

Try to go to sleep over 22:00 p.m to 23:00 p.m

What the fuck high-functioning means? {english}

I was reading an article in the mighty, an amazing website recommeded by a lovely person here in wordpress, about how is living with a high-functioning anxiety. I felt compelled to ask myself what does even high-functioning means, I have to say I relate with a lot of what she said in the article even tho I’m not always achieve the what so called “high-functioning”, sometimes I just lay in bed and overthink every detail of my life in present, future, and past tense without being able to do a productive damn thing and writhe under my self made misery.

I remember talking with my psychiatrist about my mom (she have bipolar disorder probably type I rapid cycle) and I suggested at this point of her life she might need to be hospitalized, I didn’t say this because I’m tired of my mom, which is not neccesary a lie but definitely no the reason why I suggested such a thing, hospitalization is no joke. My mom, she has done dangerous things in the past, due to delusions and paranoia, involving other people safety  incluiding mine and my father’s. In any other country this would be consider severe psychosis symptons, a red flag indicating hospitalization, but instead my psychiatrist looked me in the eye and said: “No, I don’t think she need to be hospitalized because she can high-functioning, she go shopping and get things done…” (some words may have been lost in translation but you get the idea). So she can’t get the help she needs because she can do stuff?

Yo… I don’t know about you but I’m confused as fuck. Ok, ok, wait a second I think I get it now, as long as you can make your bed, go to school and talk to people you are just having “little mental troubles” that you can fix with medication and breathing techniques.

This is what I don’t understand about psychology. All it theoretical base is about human behavior, that’s where terms like “high-functioning” come from, but what about individuals who can do their daily stuff but suffer in silence, never being enough or feeling they don’t deserve help, why the most important thing for pyschiatrists is how ‘normal’ you can act, it shouldn’t be instead the answer we should be looking for how can I be happy even tho I don’t fit as ‘normal’? how can I be happy even tho I can’t completly function in society? Mental illness makes us suffer, cry, we can’t sleep, we can’t eat, we can’t fucking breathe, but we learn through experience how to deal with our brains. Can you really categorize our lifes into a low or high, better or wrong type of life?

We keep forgetting functioning doesn’t equal happiness. What we see outside is not by any means what the inside looks like. Maybe that’s the problem we keep judging the book by its cover.