Fucking assholes

Why in the fucking life people can’t shut the fuck up? TW: THIS IS A RANT

I can’t understand why people can’t just take their own lifes and live them without judging other people and acting like stupid assholes. Dude the way I live is out of your business, you don’t live in this body, you don’t think what I think, you don’t suffer what I do so let me take my own decisions fine? I know what’s best for me. Ok with that being said… this is the story. Today someone who don’t even know me tried to push me to smoke some shit I didn’t want to smoke, and me, a person who really have a hard time rejecting people couldn’t tell him to stop with enough determination for him to shut the fuck up and leave me a lone. You may think when psychology defines social anxiety as the fear to be rejected as a exaggeration. Is not. Believe me, we have a hard time telling people they are being assholes.

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This happened with a persistence of 2 motherfucking hours. He was pushing and pushing, I was saying no and no, over and over. I don’t understand how someone find that funny. When I told my dad a few hours ago he said I should had say him to stop and even leave the place, but I wasn’t able to do that because I felt like that guy will feel like I was being rude, I was scared he will judge me… even tho it was obvious I was uncomfortable and I wanted to leave.

I’m 19 years old, and for some, this can sound like a short time in this earth, but you’ll suppose at this age I’ll be capable to walk away from a situation I don’t feel okay with.

tumblr_inline_n9903cp2s81rr7q1yThe thing is I’m not even anxious about this I just can’t stop thinking about it.
I wish I had the power to glue people’s mouth so they shut the fuck up for once.

The only good thing is I never said yes. So he can go to suck Donald Trump’s wee wee.

 

3 thoughts on “Fucking assholes

  1. RANNNTTT YASSSSSSSSS. Get it all out.

    First of all, that dude was a moron. I know he was a moron, because in high school I was one of those morons. I was a dealer and I forced people to smoke things when they didn’t want to. People tried getting me to try coke, which they must have been stupid to even ask me some dumb shit like that. But looking back on it, I was exactly what this guy is: a fucking asshole. Trying to make people do what I wanted them to do, including things like Ecstasy and shrooms, so I didn’t feel as lonely and felt powerful. That’s really what it’s about.

    And at the same time I understand your feelings of not wanting to be rejected, even in a hostile environment like that. I call it a hostile environment because, with the anxiety too, you’re trapped.

    But you know what? Good for you! You stood your ground! You may not have walked away or whatever your dad suggested you should have done, but you said no and never yes, and that is standing up for yourself. You should be very proud of that.

    Another reason I, as an asshole, used to force people to do things was to see who was willing to stand up for themselves and who wasn’t. The people who fell were the people I could use to my advantage and manipulate. The point is, always stand your ground, even if that just means saying no, no, no over and over again. Manipulators are out there. And we’re pretty sneaky.

    I try not to do that to people anymore, because I was very good at it, and it made people feel very bad. I’m not proud of that side of me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Howdy Scream!

    Good on you for being persistent and true to yourself and saying no. People don’t get anxiety and how debilitating and controlling it can be. Then to have that obsessive thought process kick in to keep you ruminating and reviewing and judging yourself just makes it worse.

    You write about your struggles very clearly. I feel like I am with you every step of the way even though I am probably on a different continent. Just articulating those feelings can help so much. I know it helps me.

    Huzzah!
    Jack

    Liked by 1 person

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