Trying new medication

So last crisis… that passed. I kind of made peace with my own mind the next day. You don’t know how tired are you of a situation until you beat your own brain to death, in a metaphorical way of course. Thank god I usually just go crazy on the internet, I can’t imaging my mom face if I told her how fast my mind change over a situation, I was having a lot of anxiety a day and the next I was “fuck it, I’m too tired for this shit”. Pressuring myself to do things I’m not prepare to do it’s just gonna make me lose my sanity, so let me stop okay?

Finally I’m trying a new medication after leaving behind Lexapro for good, that was like… 7 months ago maybe, I have to admit I liked how it reduced my obsessive thoughts but I couldn’t take one minute more of my jaw feeling painfully pressed, to the point I was always self-conscious of my mouth. I was prescribed Zoloft 50mg, I took it for the first time yesterday and surprisingly, it made me hella hyper, I’ll take a chance and even call it a “chemical happy peak”, but it’s so fake that’s annoying me I want to feel fine not extremely energetic, please body just adjust already. It gave a me a little nausea as well but that’s manageable.

I think I’ll go down to 25mg tho, since it’s making my hands shake and it’s giving insomnia. But I’ve been told it’s normal for the first weeks, since my brain is adjusting and all that fun stuff. Other reason I want to go down it’s cause I just bought two boxes with 10 pills each and since I live in a crazy ass country is really hard to find this type of medication on ANY pharmacy. I was lucky this time. So if I have to leave it when it’s over I won’t be asking for electroshock after.