Ok, so I was thinking I should be more casual and talk about what’s going on in my life… that is not much, can’t lie about it, I spend a lot of my time in home just being in my computer or reading books, but yeah… why not?
I’ve been going this past month to an Hare Krishna place, where I do meditation, yoga, and sometimes I go the partys they organize, and by partys I mean friendly places where there’s no alcohol, nobody smokes, people behave nicely, and I get to dance and sing mantras and hindu songs. It’s quite nice actually, which I don’t say about any other kind of partys.
I really like this way of living, I don’t know if I’m going to suddenly turn into a vegetarian or something like that, but what I do know is I love the peaceful feeling I get from this people, I love what their literature talk about. It speak about my fears, why people have them, how common it is, and how to be a better human being in general. EVEN THE PLACE SMELL SO GOOD.
I still believe in science and that mental health is a thing, don’t worry I’m still losing my mind, but I also believe in god and the power you bring to your life through meditation. Call me a fucking cliché. My anxiety is still there, my obsessions are still there, but I found something I really love and that’s amazing.
I’m slowly meeting people in Hare Krishna’s. I hope this time I find good people that doesn’t make me feel as lonely. Even tho, they say something is true and it hurts me deeply: I’m the one who doesn’t trust in people, who doesn’t let them love me, who doesn’t open up, that’s why I feel lonely even when there’s people with me, I don’t know how to fix this, maybe this won’t be the life I’ll figure it out, but that’s fine.
I’m going to be posting stuff about this experience, I don’t want anybody to think I one of this assholes who says shit like “you’ll get cure if you do yoga”, shoot me in the face if I start saying bullshit like that. I’ll just be me, with my not so typical brain, saying “this is what I’m experiencing, I feel like is good for me”. You know… I accepted already my anxiety is gonna be with me probably all my life but I want to find good things, some happiness, some break time. It’s reasonable right?